Thursday, March 02, 2006

Change in the Midst of Routine

Life is crazy. I love livin' it, but I rarely understand it. I've been so up and down lately. Ok, so the word "lately" here refers to quite a big chuunk of time. Anywho, the lows definitely aren't real low, more like times of laziness. And I know it's not realistic to expect to live in the highs all the time. But I need to be more balanced. Everytime I feel like I'm gettin' goin' in the right direction, I slip back into this extreme laziness mode. I've been thinkin' about this a lot lately because I really do not like this pattern that my life has developed. I'm not a fan. Here's my theory.

I'm not used to routine. At least not routine to this extent. I've always had just enough chances to shake things up. Planned events such as camps, rallies, and conventions. Looking back, I think I always figured that if I wasn't doing so hot, I always had one of these events to look forward to, and I knew they would get me going again. Along with that, I've done stuff to shake up my life when I found myself in a rut. In high school, I broke up with whoever I happened to be dating. In Minnesota, I moved. These thoughts that I'm having now never crossed my mind at those times, but looking back I see this very clearly.

Right now, I don't have these options. I'm in this life, and I love this life that I'm in. I need to learn how to spice up my walk in the midst of routine. Without making any dramatic changes in life, I need to make dramatic changes in my relationship with God. The change in my walk will change my life. But everytime I get a spark of that change, I slip back into laziness. Not good. So what am I going to do about this? I really don't know, but I'll keep you updated.

Maybe others who read this know what I'm talking about. Maybe everyone thinks I'm crazy. Who knows. Just thought I'd share this bit of revelation that came to me today as I've been lazy. much love becky


  1. You are crazy but what can I do about it. I live in America and you are in Canada. I don't really know if what you are talking about is a problem, a syndrome of the times, a reality of our relationship. One thing that I do know is that lately I have been challenged in the aspect of a "love" relationship. Minus Jeff's dras, yada yada. Even in the times when there is no spice you still love Him and him I know. Be careful my friend to not continually be looking for the spice and love the flava of our Lord in general. He is our filler, our supply, our breath of life, still more awesome than I know. Man someone should use that as a song! Love ya and on your side

  2. After reading your comment, I went back and read what I wrote and realized it could be taken the wrong way. I didn't mean I need to do something crazy that will get me an emotional response. I meant more that I need to get my butt in gear and be seekin' Him and lovin' Him, rather than playing computer games all day. Thanks for the thought. It has got me thinkin' more about that love relationship. Talk with you later. much love